Scarcity and Abundance — emilyventures

“What we call our destiny is truly our character and that character can be altered. The knowledge that we are responsible for our actions and attitudes does not need to be discouraging, because it also means that we are free to change this destiny." - Anaïs Nin

I think a lot about mindset. The inner beliefs we have about ourselves and the world around us. The thoughts and feelings that make up our attitudes towards our reality. And I’m not the only one. I mean, it’s sort of a buzzword lately, right? Growth and fixed mindsets are all the rage in pop psychology right now (with good reason), but I’ve been thinking a lot about mindsets that -- in my opinion -- are just as important: scarcity and abundance.

We’ve all heard some iteration of the “is your glass half full or half empty?” illustration. Are you optimistic or pessimistic? Recently I read a quote by Shawn Achor about that dang metaphorical glass. He says, “Ultimately, however, the contents of the glass don’t matter; what’s more important is to realize there’s a pitcher of water nearby. In other words, we have the capacity to refill the glass, or to change our outlook”

Truth bomb. Whoa. Just fill up the dang metaphorical glass. You have access to everything you need. This is an abundance mindset. There is enough dang metaphorical water (piece of the pie if you prefer) to go around. If I fill up my water glass — so can you! One doesn’t take from the other.

Someone with a scarcity mindset would focus on the lack. What is missing in the glass. Why they are being put in the position to make this decision in the first place. That it's all so unfair. They live their lives in a zero-sum game. If one person wins, another person loses. They are competing for scarce (but imagined — not talking actual resources i.e. basic survival) resources, focusing on the extreme short term of every decision. This leads to jealousy, sadness, bitterness, and negative relationships with others.

Someone with an abundance mindset, on the other hand, has the inner self-worth, confidence, and security in themselves that enables them to see long term. There is enough water/pie/success/love/time to go around. They see the benefits in sharing -- and are happier, more influential, and ultimately powerful and successful because of this mindset shift.

So, go fill up your dang water glass and read on to see how these mindsets can help or hinder the most important parts of your life.

Money

The most obvious effect of a scarcity or abundance mindset is the one it has on our money. Finances. Skrilla. The thing in your life that is absolutely necessary to survive, that you use every day, but that no one wants to talk about. Yeah, that.

Have you noticed those people who are “always broke” also seem to “always be complainin’"? Their job is dead end, their rent keeps going up, bad things keep happening to them, they’re not valued at their job blah blah. Do they ever seem to get ahead? Nope. Like your mother said — not with that attitude they don’t. And I think it’s easy to see this in other people, but not always in ourselves. In our inner monologue.

I admit this one is hard for me. I am a teacher. The fact is that even after 8 years of teaching, I still make what is an entry-level salary in many fields. And that sucks. I get into the mindset of “I’ll never have enough” more often than I’d like to admit. But I’m trying to change!

I try to think of money as fluid. Sometimes I have it, sometimes I don’t. Ownership is a social construct — the things I have are only mine for a short time before moving on anyways. So why am I holding on so tightly?

I have a salary, but I can make more.

That is key. I’m not stuck in my situation. I could get a job at a different school or district that paid more, I could get a part time job, a side hustle etc. Also, I can just have a serious conversation with my employer about what I need (and I do) — then random opportunities for extra money seem to come out of nowhere. Really. You just have to ask. But you can’t ask if you don’t think it’s there in the first place. If you don’t think it’s possible. If you think there is only so much to go around.

Bottom line: I can make more money without taking away money from anyone else.

Work

Scarcity and abundance mindsets aren’t just important in our financial lives — the effects are far reaching. How do (most of us) get our money? Well, work, of course. And our work mindsets affect our happiness and success.

If you have a scarcity mindset, you may feel like you have no options. Like your professional options are limited, or that you will be stuck in you dead-end job forever. If someone else is a “winner” — successful, receives praise, a raise, credit etc — then that makes everyone else lose. You can’t see that other’s success does not take away from yours.

If you enter your professional life with an abundance mindset, then you realize that you have options. You can get another job — there’s always more. You’re not afraid to share the credit because you know that it doesn’t diminish your accomplishments. You are focused on growth, not afraid of failure, and don’t avoid competition. You look at situations as a win-win rather than a win-lose.

Relationships

While you may not want to take relationship advice from a single 31 year old (ha) — hear me out. I think we can all agree that neediness is a relationship killer — romantic or otherwise. But if we all “know” this, why do we constantly witness this behavior? Why do we feel the need to grasp onto something so tightly, when rationally we know this is a bad idea?

Someone with a scarcity mindset believes (subconsciously or consciously) that there are only so many fish in the proverbial sea. If a relationship doesn’t work out, well, you’re screwed. What if that was the last available man, in your age range, with the right color hair and the ability to make you laugh at average intervals?? This leads to desperation, which leads to neediness, which leads to not another date (or an unhealthy relationship built on desperation but that’s another story).

When you come into new relationships with an abundance mindset, every bad date isn’t a crushing blow. Losing a friend, while hard, doesn’t mean you are unlovable and destined to talk to your cats for the next 20 years (but, I mean, is that so bad?). It sounds totally trite, but there are other fish in the sea! There are bigger seas. There are rivers, lakes, aquariums. You just gotta believe it. Retrain your brain. Be deliberate. There is enough to go around. Even in matters of the heart.

Time

This one is easy. If you don’t have enough time, or are always “busy” — then you have a scarcity mindset. No one is that busy unless their priorities are out of whack. Unless they use busyness as an excuse.

Busyness and hurrying comes from lack. Urgency, on the other hand, comes from a place of abundance. I can have a ton on my plate and still not feel like I’m out of time, because I’m deliberate in my choices. I make the time for the things that are a priority. I don’t stress over the things that are not. I schedule margin into my life — so that I don’t fall into the busyness trap. I approach tasks with urgency — not “hurried”.

It’s all priorities, people.

“Time comes to those who make it, not those who try to find it.” Jen Sincero

So how do you cultivate an abundance mindset? It isn't the natural position for most of us, so here are some easy ways to start shifting:

Create Options

Don’t like your job? Get off the couch (after you finish reading this, of course) and apply for some new ones. Work on your resume. Talk to your boss. Get extra training. You know the drill. You’ve heard it before. The important part is understanding that you are creating more options for yourself. That you can. You are not stuck. You don’t have to stay in places that don’t serve you.

The more you work towards creating options in your life, the more you are training your brain to think from a mindset of abundance.